Whilst consuming my morning coffee, I sat down to catch up on my blog reading, as I am wont to do. Two articles really caught my eye, so I thought I would share them.
Firstly, When love ends. And is born again on Mama Mia. I’m a long time reader of Mama Mia, from back in the day when it really was Mia writing. Now I have a love/hate relationship with the site, or perhaps indifference/hate would be more accurate. I skip over most articles without reading, and consider unsubscribing every now and then. Every time I see an article about vaccinations, golden globe dresses, makeup tips or some particular aspect of singles versus kids with couples I want to click that magic “Unsubscribe” button. However once in a while a gem of an article is published, and so I can’t quite bring myself to pull the plug.
Anyhow, rants about Mama Mia aside, this article really resonated with me about how I feel about the end of my own long term relationship. Here are the passages I adored:
Divorce does change you. It challenges your ideals and lets you think nothing is secure when in fact, you always have everything you need.
It teaches you many things but mostly enduring a divorce encourages us not to take things for granted. It reinforces that we need to cherish what we have whilst we have it and to go on afterwards even when we think we cannot. It affirms also that love is a miracle and worth celebrating in whatever form it finds us – whether that be through a partner, family, friends or the simple gift of nature.
The first sentence sums it up perfectly. The way that everything you have come to believe in and rely on is simply swept away from under your feet in an instant. However the part about nature is what really struck me. I think thats the reason I am so drawn to travel – seeing this wonderful world and all its amazing beauty makes me hopeful about all sorts of things, and fills me with inner joy and love. I can only hope that in ten years down the track I’ll be in as good shape as the author.
So for now, Mama Mia stays on my subscribe list.
The next article I loved this morning was try this: two commitment weekends by Sarah Wilson. Sarah is one of my favourite bloggers and I admire her for her drive, intelligence, beauty and energy. I am in awe of her commitment to nutrition and healthy living. One day I would love to try the I Quit Sugar eating plan she writes so eloquently about, but as a carb and sugar lover, I find the idea very, very daunting. I continue to read about it with interest, however.
But that’s not what this morning’s article was about. It was all about the simple idea of not overcommitting yourself, something I am always doing. When you sign up to too many things, instead of enjoying the activities you engage in, you end up resenting them because it drains you. The solution of this article: say yes to just 2 things every weekend, and let the rest evolve as it happens. Easy, right? So why don’t we do it more often?
I particularly like these tips:
- Accept the first two commitments that come in (and that appeal). Instead of fretting about for the best two commitments. Why? Because it’s in the spirit of “letting life come to you”. When you allow things to come to you – and when you practice this life muscle – that which is the best thing for you right now will start to flow towards you. The chaff will fall away.
- Write a list of things you like doing. Why? Because when Saturday night hits and you’re alone and commitment-less, you can refer to it in the nervy moment. Silly? Yes. But I’ve actually done it. On my list: going to the movies alone, eating boiled eggs for dinner and listening to folky CDs (Feist, Ricky Lee Jones, Gillian Welch), having a bath in the dark, sitting on the beach/in a park and reading a novel.
- Remind yourself you’re resting. And that resting is good. And that getting a bit bored and slow is good because it means you’re stocking up on energy reserves, getting a pause (which is great for creativity) and creating some “light and dark” in your life.
I really like point number 2. For some reason I get a bit antsy if I don’t have plans for Friday or Saturday nights. Spending them inside watching TV is anathema to me and makes me feel like I’m “missing out”. On what exactly I don’t know, but there it is.
By happy coincidence, due to feeling rundown during the week, I don’t have much on this weekend. 2 plans in fact. One of which was watching Wish You Were Here last night (an amazing film, go see it!). The other is a friend visiting this afternoon – we’ll eat lunch then wander around some local shops. Very chilled.
Back in 2006, I actually made my own list of things I enjoy doing online. Since I have no plans tonight, I’m going to stay in, update this list and try to do something on it. On a Saturday night. Will wonders never cease?